This is my better half, sat in Carluccios Manchester. Meeting up with FRIENDS for Afternoon Tea / Late lunch / Hot Chocolate, who knows what else. I find a lump in my throat, when i say - i have barely cooked a thing for the past few weeks.
My daughter commented "we haven't seen the Greengrocer Lady for a while"... i suppose because we haven't needed any fresh food.
I feel griefstricken when i think that, all my cooking efforts (it hasn't been an 'effort' but a delight) of these early weeks in 2010, have involved my Nanna.
The Lemon Cheese.... The Marmalade.... The Lemon Drizzle Cake... The place where she sat when i cooked a Birthday Dinner for my dad.... who knew i would miss her this much?
I was making her Chicken Soup, that never made that journey. My food comforted her but i couldn't sustain her.
I think our regular BIG STOVE readers, will giggle with me when they know: the last thing my Nanna ate was my Lemon Drizzle Cake... and we had a big plate of it served served at her 'parade party' (as my daughter beautifully named the Wake)
And then i went to stay with my friend, who met me at her door with ribbons and cupcakes. We met with other friends for food and chatting and later we made a big curry dinner together. It sort of broke the Grief Spell.
I think i can cook again now, but i might have to leave the Lemon Drizzle Cake to one side for a little while yet xxx